


It Started Out With A Kiss, How Did It End Up Like This?

by eteey



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-17
Updated: 2015-06-17
Packaged: 2018-04-04 21:35:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4153824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eteey/pseuds/eteey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>prompt submitted to me:<br/>'one is doing a liveshow, the other comes in and stays for a while. obviously the fans ask them to kiss and they're annoyed but then they kind of go "why not" and one of them says "well troyler didn't die did they" so they do it and after the liveshow it's really awkward because they really enjoyed it and neither wants to say so'</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Started Out With A Kiss, How Did It End Up Like This?

**Author's Note:**

> title stolen from the killers even though its not a songfic it seemed fitting. also i actually kinda like this one tbh even though it took me like 3 months to write it i am the slowest writer ever i just keep getting distracted

‘Well, to be honest, I wasn’t quite sure what was going on. One second me and Phil were just sitting there, enjoying life, having a good time and the next, a group of about 20 schoolgirls crash into the coffee place. It was like a stampede, I actually feared for my life.’ Dan said into the camera enigmatically. ‘Oh, and Phil’s, of course.’ He added as a sort of afterthought.

Dan was sat on the sofa of the flat that he shared with his best friend Phil, talking into the webcam on his laptop, streaming himself onto YouNow. It was a regular, weekly thing that he did, yet he still found it weird, having to sit there for about an hour just pointlessly talking about everything and anything. He always got worried that he’d run out of things to say and there’d be an unending awkward silence, yet he still managed to do it every week so something must be going right.

He finished his story and quickly scanned the chat where people were sending in random messages and questions. The inevitable question of ‘Where’s Phil?’ appeared of course. Most nights Dan just ignored it, he didn’t have any creative responses left to be quite honest.

‘‘Where’s Phil?’ you ask. Well Phil is in the other room, doing stuff that Phil does. We’re not conjoined twins you know.’ Dan sighed.

Just at that moment there was a light knock on the door that the microphone wouldn’t pick up. Dan saw Phil standing in the doorway.

‘Speak of the devil.’ He mumbled to himself, again too quiet for his viewers or Phil to hear.

Phil gestured to the camera, did some weird sign language that Dan couldn’t decipher and eventually gave up and mouthed ‘You done yet?’

Dan gave in to inevitable and motioned for Phil to come over there with his hand, not in the view of the camera of course.

‘Phil tends to have the best timing sometimes.’ He said, to the camera. ‘Here he is right now. Say hello the viewers, Phil.’

Dan shifted the camera slightly so that Phil was also in view.

‘Hello to the viewers.’ Phil said, then laughed with his tongue poking out a little.

Dan rolled his eyes affectionately. His eyes were drawn the chat, where incessant phangirls were freaking out and demanding various things from them. Many of the messages said ‘KISS!1!!1’.

‘I wish.’ Dan thought to himself. He ignored them and began a mundane conversation with Phil, including his subscribers in as many ways that he could.

At one point, the moment where everything began now that Dan looks back on it, Phil looked over to the chat box, where many shippers were going nuts. Inevitably, he saw someone write ‘like omg you guys should kiss like troyler did!!!’, but then he did something Dan would have never expected.

He read the message out loud and looked at Dan. Dan stared back at him, not letting his mind go to places where Dan could never reel it back in. Phil kept looking at Dan and Dan was going nuts trying to figure out why he had read it out loud, what he was implying, he didn’t want them to actually…? Did he?

‘Well…’ Phil started. Dan’s eyes bulged even more out of his head. ‘Neither Tyler nor Troye actually died did they?’

Dan choked on a bit of his own spit.

‘I-I guess they didn’t.’ Dan managed to get out.

‘We could…?’ Phil said, sort of awkwardly nudging Dan’s shoulder.

Dan’s mind was exploding, on the one hand he really, really wanted this, on the other hand he really didn’t want his first kiss with Phil to be in front of thousands of screaming 12 year olds. But if Phil had already proposed it, he couldn’t exactly say no, otherwise it’d be 2011 all over again and he’d be accused of sinking everyone’s ship.

‘I guess…’ Dan mumbled, not looking Phil in the eyes.

‘So are we…?’ Phil trailed off.

Dan looked up, into Phil’s eyes.

‘Okay.’

As Phil began leaning in, Dan suddenly became hyperaware of the situation he had managed to get himself into. His ears picked up every sound, the whirr of the laptop, the faint noise of TV on in the other room. He smelt Phil’s deodorant as he leaned in closer, the clean smell of soap and a touch of vanilla. His eyes caught the flicker of the lamp in the corner of the room, the chat on the screen exploding with messages, themselves reflected on it, the little light that indicated the camera was recording. He noticed everything, and then his lips touched Phil’s, and nothing.

Everything was blocked out, all that mattered was this moment right here, right now. The only important thing was Phil’s lips crashing against his own, soft and gentle at first, but increasing in urgency as the seconds ticked on. All that mattered was Phil’s hand coming up to rest on the back of Dan’s neck and Dan’s own hand moving towards Phil’s hair, completely out of its own will.

When they finally broke apart Dan couldn’t breathe, and it looked like Phil was having similar troubles. They just stared at each other until Dan coughed and looked back at the screen. He could see the people in the chat completely freaking out but tactfully chose to ignore it.

‘So that happened.’ Phil muttered, loud enough that everyone could hear.

Dan refused to look in Phil’s eyes, not wanting to show how much he had enjoyed that, how much he had wanted it to never stop, how much he wanted to never come back to the real world where actions had consequences.

‘Yeah, I guess it did. So now you guys can’t ever try and force us to kiss, we just did, and nothing’s changed. Right, Phil?’ Dan felt like he was reassuring himself more than the fans, as he desperately glanced in Phil’s direction for assurance.

‘Yeah, of course.’ Phil muttered, seemingly unable to look anywhere but his lap.

Dan tried to snap himself back into his ‘danisnotonfire’ persona as he resumed talking to the camera (and thousands of fans).

‘So, I think that just about wraps up the show. Try to not explode the internet with gifs of that, it’s not a big deal, really. New video will probably be up some times next week-‘ Lies. ‘And I’ll be doing another live show same time next week too, so see you guys then, I guess. Bye!’ He waved and ended the live show with a click.

Dan took his time slowly turning his laptop off and closing it, disconnecting all the wires and picking those up as well, before he looked at Phil sitting next to him on the sofa. Phil was staring intently at his hands in his lap.

 _Was he really that horrified at kissing Dan?_ Dan thought. _Could he really not look Dan in the eye? Was Dan that bad of a kisser?_

‘So. Um. I’m gonna. I’m gonna go. To my room. Yeah, I’m gonna go to my room and uh- edit. See ya.’ Dan managed to choke out before almost sprinting down the hallway to his room.

-

The next day Phil didn’t know what to do with himself. He was up before Dan as per usual, but he didn’t know whether he wanted to avoid Dan or jump his bones. His brain had been on high alert after last night, barely being able to sleep with all the thought pinging around his head. The kiss was- he didn’t know how to describe that kiss. On the one hand it was Dan, his best friend, the guy he’d known for years, his flatmate. He had never thought of Dan in that way before, hit had never crossed his mind. When he had suggested the whole kissing thing last night, the only thing he had been thinking was that maybe it’d shut the phandom up once and for all. But the minute his lips touched Dan’s everything had changed, he had felt something lurch in his stomach, that he had never felt towards Dan before, and now he was simply just confused.

Phil decided that the best way to avoid the awkwardness was to just carry on with his day as if nothing had changed. He got out of bed and walked to the kitchen. He made cereal for himself and went to the living to watch TV, as he did every day. But he kept fidgeting, wanting to knock on Dan’s door to see if he was alright, but scared at the same time about what would happen if he did.

Eventually, after 4 episodes of Friends, Phil heard Dan walking down the hallway. Phil listened to the noises of Dan rustling around in the kitchen, probably making breakfast. As Dan appeared in the living room doorway, Phil pretended to look up from the TV in a surprised way.

‘Can I- Can I join you?’ Dan asked tentatively.

‘Yeah of course, of course.’ Phil replied quickly, making space for Dan next to him

Phil tried to not look disappointed when Dan chose to sit on the other sofa.

‘So…’ Phil trailed off, turning his head back to the TV.

‘Yeah.’ Dan said in response.

 _This is ridiculous_ , Phil thought.

Dan seemed to sense Phil’s discomfort and turned to him, putting the bowl of cereal on the coffee table.

‘Ok, listen Phil. It’s obvious that everything’s awkward because of last night, but I mean c’mon, we can’t live like this. I promise I won’t do it again and I’m sorry about what happened, but we gotta get over it.’ Dan said, rather forcefully and with a pained expression painted on his face.

‘I’m not’ Phil mumbled, barely audible.

‘You’re not what?’ Dan said, confused.

‘I’m not sorry it happened.’ Phil said, a little louder.

It wasn’t until that moment that Phil had realised that he really didn’t regret the kiss at all. He came to the realization that he didn’t see Dan as just a friend, not really. Maybe it had been like that all along but he had just been too ignorant to realise it, but he loved Dan. Truly and deeply.

‘What?’ Dan sputtered, sure he had heard wrong. Phil hadn’t just said that, right?

‘I don’t regret it Dan, if you do then I’m sorry and I promise I won’t come onto you or anything but I really like you. Like, a lot. If you want me to move out or something I get that.’ Phil stared at his hands, really hoping that Dan wouldn’t ask him to leave.

He didn’t know what he’d do without Dan in his life, even if it was strictly platonic. Dan was his best friend, his rock, the person he could geek out to about anything, the person he could watch animes with when all their normal friends called them weird. They had everything in common and they worked in perfect synchrony, never once had living together been hard or tiring, they just clicked.

‘I really like you too Phil’, Dan said. Phil’s heart soared, he looked up from his lap with the most hope in his eyes Dan had ever seen. ‘For a really long time now actually.’

‘Fuck, Dan I-‘

Phil was cut off by Dan’s lips pressing against his own for the second time in 24 hours. Phil let his eyes flutter shut and his hands come to rest of Dan’s face. It was even better than the first kiss.

-

Later, when all the important words had been said and their lips were numb from kissing, they lay, content, on the sofa, in each other’s arms. The sun was just beginning to set and they could see the red and orange tones through the window and neither would have traded this moment for anything.

‘How is it, that we’ve known each other for about 6 years now, yet only now has this happened?’ Phil asked, his face buried in Dan’s hair, breathing him in.

‘Ignorance. Stupidity. I don’t care, all I care about is now. You and me, right now, in this moment.’ Dan’s head was resting in the crook underneath Phil’s chin and he sighed in content.

Phil kissed the top of Dan’s head and wrapped his harms tighter around the younger man.

Slowly, the sun sank below the horizon and the two men stayed there, in the dark, happy for once.


End file.
